Green Tea Ice-cream Cake

'Noel Joyeux,' a rather cluttered establishment on Route 13, just out of Akita City, was an experience in confusion and kitsch. The name, though festive, gives no indication of what is inside. Is it a bar... a cafe... a restaurant... a bottle-store... a tatami-floored teahouse, or an 'eclectic-advertising-posters-of-the-80's' emporium?

The service is efficient enough, but completely lacking in grace, (which, in my experience, is unusual in Japan). One can taste when food is prepared with love and this day's fare clearly was not. 'Noel Joyeux' seems to be haunted by the 'Ghost of Christmas Past,' and, though it appears clean, is in dire need of some TLC (and a determined 'declutter'). First up should be some new glass tops on the tables. My spot had a huge crack across it.

1. The coffee?... An oily, bitter stew.

2. The cake?...  A hard and frozen filling that set the teeth on edge.

 3. The sponge?... Squeaky green bubbly stuff, with the consistency of styrofoam. Really!

4.  The 'cream?'... Spewed straight from an aerosol can.

5. The 'milk?'... the usual potted, palm-oil-based concoction one normally gets with a cup of instant coffee on a cheap aeroplane flight. EEEeeeeewwwwhhh!

6. The sugar?  A long slim paper pack of your usual white refined granules.

Total flavour (for each of the above, 1 - 6)? ... Sadly, I have to say... ZERO! 

(Though I sincerely attempted to savour each mouthful slowly, and waited... hopefully, for some kind of response from my tastebuds, I was, in the end, disappointed.  

Truly, honestly, 100% completely... 

not one hint of any kind of known flavour, real or artificial, could be detected. 

I don't think I have ever eaten anything before that did not taste of anything at all.)

HOWEVER...

7. The fruit?... THAT was real. (And fresh, thankfully. I guess seven is, after all, a lucky number.)

It was the one redeeming feature of the entire afternoon tea!